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jenepherreSo much going on. It gets a bit overwhelming sometimes.
My nephew was just diagnosed as high-functioning autistic. Even though many of us have suspected there was something different about him, it still comes as a total shock. Today is his 3rd birthday. He's an incredibly smart guy - really good with faces and names and speaks quite well. He's never played well with his cousins his age though, and I sometimes have a hard time being around him when he's in one of his noisy periods. He loves to sing at the top of his lungs. Sometimes in the middle of the night even. Apparently for him that's a coping mechanism related to the autism.
We have strong suspicions now that my brother, father of said nephew, has the same condition but it was never diagnosed. He's incredibly smart too, though very focused on a specific subject - mathematics. And that's been true all his life. We called him "The Count" - like on Sesame Street - when he was little. He's now working on his dissertation for his PhD in mathematics. But he has friends, got married obviously, and has always been very successful in school. I worry a little that he's dragging his feet on this dissertation and is maybe a little afraid to face the post-academia world. Not that I'd blame him a bit, but he has a family to support. In addition to the 3 year old boy, they have a 10 month old daughter too.
I've wondered many, many times if I didn't have some form of highly-functioning autism. I've always been considered very intelligent, and scored highly on tests, but have always had trouble interacting with people in certain structured environments. I've suffered from quite severe depression all my life, so it was always attributed to that, but I think there's more to it. At this point in my life, I'm 36 years old, never married, no kids, and I live with my parents because I haven't been able to work for the past 5+ years. The not being able to work seems to be mostly due to panic attacks and anxiety. I don't leave the house very often anymore. There have been times over the past couple of years where I went 6 weeks without going anywhere. And the only reason I went somewhere then was because I had an appointment with my psychiatrist. I realized upon seeing him one time that it was the first time I'd left the house since my last appointment with him. I'm not really afraid of going places. I just don't like to. Part of it is having no money. Why go to the store if I can't buy anything? Can't go to the movies - no money. Can't even rent a movie. I'm just incredibly lucky that my parents are willing and able to support me, though it won't always be that way, and I know it's a strain on them financially now. We're trying to get me on disability, but that's really hard to do based on mental health issues unless your psychotic or something. I actually have an appointment at the local Social Security office regarding my disability application on Tuesday morning, and I'm trying not to panic about it. I have no idea what to expect. Luckily, my next appt. with my psychiatrist is that afternoon. LOL
I could go on and on about my own problems and issues and theories about them, but I've already shared far more than I usually do. And I really try not to focus on my own problems very much - it just makes my depression worse. Besides, my nephew and brother aren't my only family concerns...
My sister is about 28 weeks pregnant via in vitro fertilization. She and my brother-in-law have a gorgeous 3 year old daughter, also an in vitro baby, and then they had two failed attempts, and now this one. She's been having pretty severe Braxton Hicks contractions and has been told to take it easy, which she is not good at doing. I know how important this baby is to her and her husband and all of us, really, so I'm worried for her. I think she'll be fine, but what she needs is for people to come over and help with my niece and do things around the house. Which of course my mom and I would like to help with. But mom's knees are giving her a lot of pain again, and I have this issues about not often wanting to go anywhere.
Oh, and our 15 year old poodle is really showing her age and some of the family thinks she ought to be put to sleep. I disagree - I don't think she's anywhere near that bad yet. They're just tired of taking care of her and think she's a nuisance. Which is not a legitimate reason to have your pet put to sleep. ::shaking head:: Oh, did I mention they're leaving the final decision on me? Thanks so much.
The internet is definitely an escape for me, but I get overwhelmed here too. I want to do all these projects with all these nice people, and it's just impossible to do them all. Doesn't stop me from offering and from trying, but still... and I wonder if being so involved in the internet is part of what keeps me at home so much. No - scratch that - I know it's part of what keeps me at home so much. But it's the one thing that makes me feel productive and needed and happy. So how can I give that up? Well, I'd never give it up totally, but even backing off is hard.
Seems like I had more to say, but I think I'm done being introspective for now. Too much and I kinda shut down.
Damn my allergies are bothering me. And no, that's not a reference to Justin/QAF. I was out in the back yard a little bit ago, and I think I brought a bunch of pollen back in with me. I was looking at one of the trees that's overgrown. ::sigh::
My nephew was just diagnosed as high-functioning autistic. Even though many of us have suspected there was something different about him, it still comes as a total shock. Today is his 3rd birthday. He's an incredibly smart guy - really good with faces and names and speaks quite well. He's never played well with his cousins his age though, and I sometimes have a hard time being around him when he's in one of his noisy periods. He loves to sing at the top of his lungs. Sometimes in the middle of the night even. Apparently for him that's a coping mechanism related to the autism.
We have strong suspicions now that my brother, father of said nephew, has the same condition but it was never diagnosed. He's incredibly smart too, though very focused on a specific subject - mathematics. And that's been true all his life. We called him "The Count" - like on Sesame Street - when he was little. He's now working on his dissertation for his PhD in mathematics. But he has friends, got married obviously, and has always been very successful in school. I worry a little that he's dragging his feet on this dissertation and is maybe a little afraid to face the post-academia world. Not that I'd blame him a bit, but he has a family to support. In addition to the 3 year old boy, they have a 10 month old daughter too.
I've wondered many, many times if I didn't have some form of highly-functioning autism. I've always been considered very intelligent, and scored highly on tests, but have always had trouble interacting with people in certain structured environments. I've suffered from quite severe depression all my life, so it was always attributed to that, but I think there's more to it. At this point in my life, I'm 36 years old, never married, no kids, and I live with my parents because I haven't been able to work for the past 5+ years. The not being able to work seems to be mostly due to panic attacks and anxiety. I don't leave the house very often anymore. There have been times over the past couple of years where I went 6 weeks without going anywhere. And the only reason I went somewhere then was because I had an appointment with my psychiatrist. I realized upon seeing him one time that it was the first time I'd left the house since my last appointment with him. I'm not really afraid of going places. I just don't like to. Part of it is having no money. Why go to the store if I can't buy anything? Can't go to the movies - no money. Can't even rent a movie. I'm just incredibly lucky that my parents are willing and able to support me, though it won't always be that way, and I know it's a strain on them financially now. We're trying to get me on disability, but that's really hard to do based on mental health issues unless your psychotic or something. I actually have an appointment at the local Social Security office regarding my disability application on Tuesday morning, and I'm trying not to panic about it. I have no idea what to expect. Luckily, my next appt. with my psychiatrist is that afternoon. LOL
I could go on and on about my own problems and issues and theories about them, but I've already shared far more than I usually do. And I really try not to focus on my own problems very much - it just makes my depression worse. Besides, my nephew and brother aren't my only family concerns...
My sister is about 28 weeks pregnant via in vitro fertilization. She and my brother-in-law have a gorgeous 3 year old daughter, also an in vitro baby, and then they had two failed attempts, and now this one. She's been having pretty severe Braxton Hicks contractions and has been told to take it easy, which she is not good at doing. I know how important this baby is to her and her husband and all of us, really, so I'm worried for her. I think she'll be fine, but what she needs is for people to come over and help with my niece and do things around the house. Which of course my mom and I would like to help with. But mom's knees are giving her a lot of pain again, and I have this issues about not often wanting to go anywhere.
Oh, and our 15 year old poodle is really showing her age and some of the family thinks she ought to be put to sleep. I disagree - I don't think she's anywhere near that bad yet. They're just tired of taking care of her and think she's a nuisance. Which is not a legitimate reason to have your pet put to sleep. ::shaking head:: Oh, did I mention they're leaving the final decision on me? Thanks so much.
The internet is definitely an escape for me, but I get overwhelmed here too. I want to do all these projects with all these nice people, and it's just impossible to do them all. Doesn't stop me from offering and from trying, but still... and I wonder if being so involved in the internet is part of what keeps me at home so much. No - scratch that - I know it's part of what keeps me at home so much. But it's the one thing that makes me feel productive and needed and happy. So how can I give that up? Well, I'd never give it up totally, but even backing off is hard.
Seems like I had more to say, but I think I'm done being introspective for now. Too much and I kinda shut down.
Damn my allergies are bothering me. And no, that's not a reference to Justin/QAF. I was out in the back yard a little bit ago, and I think I brought a bunch of pollen back in with me. I was looking at one of the trees that's overgrown. ::sigh::
