Gakked from
mlleelizabeth...
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Peach's Christmas party. It was Elaine who spiked the punch with too much Midori Sour. I can't help it if I drank 8 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like peppermint.
I thought it was funny when I put Elizabeth's thong on my head and danced the hokey pokey on the chrome and leather chaise while singing `Funky Cold Medina '. I didn't mean to break Peach's radar detector and don't know why Peach would sue me for polygamy.
I don't remember calling Danny's wife a delectable donkey---even though she looked like one with ice blue eye shadow and razzmatazz raspberry lipstick!
And when I threw up on Kristen's husband's left ear, it was only because I ate too much of that tiramisu.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Pontiac Aztek through my neighbor's vestibule. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a snazzy Gouldian Finch and have me arrested for indecent exposure!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all fluffy and prodigious. And I'm really not to blame for any of this bawdy stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and inexplicably yours,
Jen (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 8 bucks!
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