OMG... somebody talk me down, please!!!

[jenepherre]

I just read the WORST FIC EVER!!!!! But it's my own damn fault... the story was rec'd by.... Starema. akjdskjdklfajoiefrjaklnfaklsdhfcoia 4e0wahf nhvf djkl I... help me... seriously... I can't get this atrocity out of my head... and and OMFG... Starema even wrote a poem about it! I really think I might puke. I'm so not kidding. I'm actually shaking from how horrible this was... and from my own stupidity for going there in the first place. I've obviously lost my mind. That's all there is to it.

Okay, so there was a conversation on the BJfic yahoo group recently where someone asked for kink fic recs. People rec'd Ardra, Rusty, Heph-Lo, TriciaQAF, etc. Good stuff. And then Starema rec'd her own stories as well as the one mentioned below. Now... I knew better than to go read anything of Starema's - I'm not a complete moron... I think... but what made me bookmark this other story to read? What made me read it all the way through when I could see how truly awful it was? Is it the whole train wreck theory? I just couldn't look away? Maybe I was punishing myself or something (like Justin! ahaha heh)... I really don't know. All I know is that now I need bleach, steel wool... and maybe a blow torch to rid my brain of this experience.

::whimpering::

This isn't a new story or anything - looks like it's actually a couple of years old - so you may already know if it's horrid abuse of... well, everything, but if not...

Detached - Justin's Silent Rage

DETACHED - the poem by Starema

I think what bothers me the most, though, is that this story is put out there as legitimate BDSM fic. Is this really what the uneducated think BDSM is? Do people actually think something like this could happen? Do people really think that a human being can stick their tongue so far up a man's rectum that they can touch the guy's prostate? WITH THEIR TONGUE???? And did you know that at the Meathook:

"Most nights we get sex and death, or sex and blood, or death and blood, but never all three!"

Naturally Justin goes to the Meathook because he was abused by Ethan and now thinks he's a horrible person and deserves to be 'punished.' And Brian, ever in protective-mode, follows him there and gets more than he bargained for... but not to worry! There's a happy ending! See?

"Brian?" Justin asked clinging tightly to the arms around him.

"Yeah?" Brian replied.

"Do you think we're gonna be okay?" The boy asked.

Brian hugged him tighter. It was a double entendre, a skill Justin had learned from the master. Not only was the boy asking about their health, but their relationship as well. "I think we are gonna be just fine."

It was a double entendre. It... was... ::grabs the steel wool again::

Someone please help me. Please? Ohgodplease?

Comments

[quinn222.livejournal.com]

Someone please help me. Please? Ohgodplease?

OMG WHATTHEHELLWEREYOUTHINKING???????

Go read some mojokitten or something right now and clean your mind of the bad stuff. If you're going to do this kind of thing we may have to take away your permit to surf.

[jenepherre.livejournal.com]

Actually, reading about plumsuede's dreams from last night has completely erased the story from my brain.

However, I still fear for my own sanity, and would appreciate some supervision of my fic reading choices for the foreseeable future. mojokitten sounds like a good idea. Thank you, Quinn. You're a good friend.

[fiercediva.livejournal.com]

PSA: If anyone ever mentions "Human Wasteland" to you as a fic to read, RUN. RUN LIKE THE WIND. One word - exsanguination. Pls pass steel wool, kthx.

[jenepherre.livejournal.com]

Exsanguination?

::passes the steel wool AND the blow torch::

[elisabet-moisio.livejournal.com]

that sure is among the craziest fic ever.. *shudder*

[plumsuede.livejournal.com]

maybe i'll read this when I recover from my recent trauma

[jenepherre.livejournal.com]

No no... my dear... no. Please. No. Though perhaps reading this story could be considered a non-invasive type of brain surgery... hmm...

[http://users.livejournal.com/_finn_/]

It was a double entendre...

It..

oh.

::whimper::

(Mommymakethebadbadpersongoaway?)

[jenepherre.livejournal.com]

Ummm... do you mean me, or the people (it took 3 of them) who wrote the story? Heh.

[irishcaelan.livejournal.com]

No sympathy from me, missy. You read anything Starema recs, you deserve what you get. Besides, once you saw who the authors were, you should have known you'd better run far and fast.

[gaedhal.livejournal.com]

I agree with Cael.

You KNOW not to stick your hand in the garbage disposal.

Just say no!

[llvoncan.livejournal.com]

Jen Honey;
I learned A LONG TIME AGO that you hit the delete button for her work. She actually has some good ideas, it's just that she can't write worth a crap. What is even worse is how "fans" of her write telling her how wonderful a writer she is--I cannot fathom that at all. I wish I had the means to get it out of your mind-go read the new chapter of BURN or reread you very FAVORITE fiction-that helps me cleanse other thoughts. Good luck-it sounds like you're gonna need it.
Love you
Lois

[jenepherre.livejournal.com]

See - she didn't write this one. Just rec'd it - though that should have been clue enough. I do delete all her stuff.

Luckily I've found some good distractions today and my brain is gradually recovering. It may take a while though... thanks for your support and concern, my dear. ::hugs::

[mirror-mirror.livejournal.com]

It was a double entendre. It... was...

LOL!!!

Poor thing. That still doesn't top that murder/suicide story I read at bjfic.net.

[jenepherre.livejournal.com]

murder/suicide story

Can't believe I'm saying this, but... link please? Hahahaha No really...

[nest-freemark.livejournal.com]

Do people really think that a human being can stick their tongue so far up a man's rectum that they can touch the guy's prostate? WITH THEIR TONGUE????

Hahahaa!! Best thing ever! Oh man, not even Gene Simmons could do that! *cackles*

[jenepherre.livejournal.com]

I thought of writing the 'authors' and saying that exact thing to them... but I was afraid that:
1) they wouldn't know who Gene Simmons is
or ::shudder::
2) they'd start writing Gene Simmons slash...

[phibetafunkay.livejournal.com]

Oh, NOES!

Man - if Starema rec'd it, caveat emptor!

*pets*

[jenepherre.livejournal.com]

It both scared and scarred me, Bat. ::still trembling::

[shape5.livejournal.com]

*hugs and gives you comfort*

Personally, I find f1renze's vid Affirmation is the QAF cure-all, bound to fix anything wrong relating to qaf, and the only thing that could get me to stop crying from general 122 related stuff. While you're there, any other vid of either of them will work wonders.

[1daftpunk.livejournal.com]

Has anyone ever told you that you are a masochist?

Shame on you! :-)

I think I read this piece of trash a long time ago.

[elisabet-moisio.livejournal.com]

OMG! Your inner bad!fic alarm wasn't obviously working.. must be because of the summer and hot weather.. so tune it up before you end up insane there! Seriously reading Starema's stuff.. it's like eating own puke.. no offense of course, some like to eat perhaps their own puke...

[gaedhal.livejournal.com]

Don't forget her "poetry"!

Rememeber "Eat the Meat"?

Roll over, W.B. Yeats!

[joesther.livejournal.com]

All I can say at this point is that I'm really really really glad I have no idea who the hell Starema is. Sometimes, it's so very good to be outside the loop. *sigh*

Go read some PlumFic, that should chase the nightmares away. Or Erin. Or Severina. Or anything on Queer Eyes.

*pets you*

[darksylvia.livejournal.com]

Holy shit, that is pure ickiness!

I blame Satan. Um, or fangirls possessed by Satan. Or Satan as a fangirl, (now THERE'S a scary thought).

The writing geek in me says, "Jesus, what a bad paragraph. The whole POINT of double-meanings are that you don't explain them! GRAH!"

[allisgood.livejournal.com]

>>I just read the WORST FIC EVER!!!!! But it's my own damn fault... the story was rec'd by.... Starema. akjdskjdklfajoiefrjaklnfaklsdhfcoia 4e0wahf nhvf djkl I... help me... seriously... I can't get this atrocity out of my head... and and OMFG... Starema even wrote a poem about it! I really think I might puke. I'm so not kidding. I'm actually shaking from how horrible this was... and from my own stupidity for going there in the first place. I've obviously lost my mind. That's all there is to it.<<

think beautiful thoughts Jen, think of how beautiful Brian, clothed or unclothed is--it'll take your mind off of anything.

[lorelei633.livejournal.com]

Good grief. I don't even read QAF and I'm twitching like the methadone clinic just burned down.

*takes your Pittsburgh Public Library card away*

no fic for you!

j/k...hee

[mi-nion.livejournal.com]

Do people really think that a human being can stick their tongue so far up a man's rectum that they can touch the guy's prostate? WITH THEIR TONGUE?
Not unless they're Gene Simons.
*snort*

[lexii314.livejournal.com]

OMFG!!! That is SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lexii314.livejournal.com]

I Know Hep-Lo's fiction and Ardra's but I don't think I've ever heard of the others. Would you mind very much giving me links to their sites. Or can I find them on BJfic ?
There are authors that I ALWAYS avoid. I don't care if they are rec'd to death. I know that they suck and there will never be a thing they write that I'll enjoy no matter how bored or desperate for fic I am. STAY AWAY FROM THE LIGHT!!! LOL!! :P

[msjudi.livejournal.com]

Well, ok, I hope this isn't just crazy presumptive, and it isn't B/J fic, it's G/R fic, but it's kink for certain and I wrote it, so I'm gonna rec it to ya ;)

(and for the record, I'm a domme, hubby is my sub) :D

http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=msjudi&keyword=msjudi%27s+G/R+kinky+series&filter=all

If you read it, I hope you enjoy it :D

[jenepherre.livejournal.com]

::cough:: Yeah, I've read them all... multiple times. ;-D Knew you were a domme too. You mentioned it somewhere before... can't remember where. But I think I would have guessed it from your writing even if you hadn't mentioned it. I'm a sub, although my experience is actually fairly limited. But not so limited that I can't recognize who really knows what they're writing about (you) and who has absolutely no fucking clue whatsoever and I sincerely hope that no one actually believes that they do know what they're writing about, because that thought just scares me (referring, obviously, to the 3 girls who wrote the fic I was complaining about).

I'm always on the lookout for good kink fic, so please write more! I already read yours, TriciaQAF's, Heph-Lo's Justin series, and just about everything of Rusty's as well as some of Ardra's stuff, though her stories take it to a whole different level that I'm not entirely comfortable with.

Anyway, thanks for the rec. ;-D I'll have to go reread them all as soon as I get a chance.

[dd2-edge.livejournal.com]

*pardon my barging in*

Yeah, that could be horrifying. Walking into sth you don't know is bad and it's too late when you know. Sometimes one is just lured into it, by the sheer force and will of a dedicated B/J fan, I guess, or just by the curiosity that wouldn't stand the chance of missing sth good.

I started as a Viggorli girl and I had read things that are not as good as they seem to be. I'm much more cautious with B/J now. But I suspect it could be my guilty pleasure to read bad!fic.

Btw, I read the BDSM series by Hephaistion-Io and it's good. Don't know whehter there's a post-122 sequel, though.

I'm sorry I got carried away!

[irishcaelan.livejournal.com]

Don't get me started about the Justin series