jenepherre | Whoppin' big surprise

How evil are you?

Mom has her doctor's appt. this afternoon (Monday) to find out if the cancer has spread into her lymph nodes and if she's going to need chemo or further surgery. I'm having a really hard time with all this. Constant flashbacks to my own cancer experience. My surgery - like my mom's - went fine. It was afterwards that doctors fucked things up. There's no reason to think that they're going to fuck up my mom's treatment, but I can't help obsessing about it.

I'm hoping it's just because I haven't been sleeping well, but I just have this horrible feeling about things right now. I don't necessarily think mom's tests will come back with bad results, it just feels like life in general is just doing everything it can to shove me back into a deep depression. 'Let's make Jen relive every horrible moment in her life.' Or something like that.

Can't think of anything else to say. Now you know why I haven't been writing in my LJ very much.