The fandom uproar...
Monday, April 5th, 2004 01:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I'd like to say I find it amusing. But I'd be lying. I do recognize that when the hate meme started, it was - I'm assuming - intended as a joke. But I would hope that even the people involved can see that it's gone far beyond that now.
You know, that's something that I'll always loathe about the internet. You don't really know most of the people you communicate with, and since you can't see their expressions or hear the tone of their voice, it's extremely difficult to know when someone is joking or not. Which is why - if I ever do tease someone online - I go out of my way to make sure they know I'm just teasing or joking. Although I'd be the first to admit that I'm far from perfect and have made my share of mistakes.
Some people have no trouble letting all that vitriol just roll off their backs. Other people are more sensitive to it, and do take it personally - even if they know, logically, that it wasn't personal. Just because people in the second group have a more difficult time of it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them. We all react to things differently.
But - at the risk of becoming one of the hated - I have to say that anyone who gets a laugh from posting the kind of messages I saw on the hate meme thread needs to explore why they think it's an amusing, all-in-good-fun activity. Probably with a good therapist. No, I'm not making a joke. Anyone who gets any kind of pleasure out of hurting other people - whether it was intentional or not - has some personal issues that need to be dealt with. The people who are hurt or offended by it are generally not the people with the problem. (Yes, there are exceptions - people can end up playing the 'pity me' card, which has its own psychological causes...)
The whole thing is just sad... and so incredibly immature. Those of you who were hurt or bothered by it in some way... know that not everyone in the fandom is like that.
Those of you who were involved and who know me or have me friended... I'm not mad at anyone, and I won't unfriend anyone because of this. You're welcome to unfriend me if you want - I won't be mad about that either. I'm just sad and disappointed by the whole thing.
You know, that's something that I'll always loathe about the internet. You don't really know most of the people you communicate with, and since you can't see their expressions or hear the tone of their voice, it's extremely difficult to know when someone is joking or not. Which is why - if I ever do tease someone online - I go out of my way to make sure they know I'm just teasing or joking. Although I'd be the first to admit that I'm far from perfect and have made my share of mistakes.
Some people have no trouble letting all that vitriol just roll off their backs. Other people are more sensitive to it, and do take it personally - even if they know, logically, that it wasn't personal. Just because people in the second group have a more difficult time of it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them. We all react to things differently.
But - at the risk of becoming one of the hated - I have to say that anyone who gets a laugh from posting the kind of messages I saw on the hate meme thread needs to explore why they think it's an amusing, all-in-good-fun activity. Probably with a good therapist. No, I'm not making a joke. Anyone who gets any kind of pleasure out of hurting other people - whether it was intentional or not - has some personal issues that need to be dealt with. The people who are hurt or offended by it are generally not the people with the problem. (Yes, there are exceptions - people can end up playing the 'pity me' card, which has its own psychological causes...)
The whole thing is just sad... and so incredibly immature. Those of you who were hurt or bothered by it in some way... know that not everyone in the fandom is like that.
Those of you who were involved and who know me or have me friended... I'm not mad at anyone, and I won't unfriend anyone because of this. You're welcome to unfriend me if you want - I won't be mad about that either. I'm just sad and disappointed by the whole thing.
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Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 02:21 am (UTC)[/pointless]
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Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 02:46 am (UTC)Could not agree more
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 02:40 am (UTC)Glad you had the decency to express your opinion. Thank you.
Didn't actually catch up with the content until you posted cos I'm really not in the lj loop, but it that's what's out there, I don't want to be.
How sad and pathetic is it that some people find this is the way to get their jollies? And so much of it anonymous. Are we surprised?
So gutless, as well as pathetic.
Confirms what my suspicion has been all along about the whole lj thing, which is that it's often more about posturing and demonstrating how cdol one is than actual talent or intelligent input into the fandom.
(Present company excepted of course. LOL).
W
Re: Could not agree more
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 02:50 am (UTC)As far as LJ often being about posturing, etc... I see that a lot more in the QAF fandom than in other fandoms I'm in. They all have their problems, but QAF is bad...
My feeling is just that I'm not gonna go down that road. I'd much rather have people like me for who I am than for who I could pretend to be, you know?
Thanks for the support, Wren.
Re: Could not agree more
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 03:00 am (UTC)It really makes me wonder what is their problem that they can only get validation by putting someone else down? And in such a cowardly way, where the people they are commenting about will most probably never even see it. But meanwhile they are creating an impression about that writer, or person, in the minds of a whole lot of others.
I don't know. I just think it's weird. And unhealthy. Their are no boundaries, no restraints. And the fact that so much of what I find in ljs is very negative about anyone who is not part of whichever particular little clique ... does not make me comfortable with it as a format. Except in specific cases where I'm reasonably confident that I'm dealing with someone who is basically a decent human being.
Sorry, didn't mean to maunder on. Just trying to work through some stuff in my own head, I guess.
But as for the support ... you are most welcome.
W
Re: Could not agree more
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 03:33 am (UTC)I'm sorry that you feel that way, because, really the LJ community is not that bad, there are tons of nice, funny, intelligent, wonderful people here; there are trolls and idiots too, like everywhere else, but you should give it a chance...it kinda grows on you... :-)
Re: Could not agree more
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 04:05 am (UTC)My experience and timing have just been bad, I think.
I'ts really only been in the last week or so that I've got into it to any great extent, and then all this springs up.
Haven't written it off yet though.
Thanks for the words of encouragement. I appreciate it. :)
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Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 03:07 am (UTC)Case in point...
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 03:31 am (UTC)With you, I basically just try to go with the flow... that usually works.
Re: Case in point...
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 03:39 am (UTC)Randall gets me, lol. Well sometimes we have to clarify. Wait, they hate him too, lol.
Re: Case in point...
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 03:43 am (UTC)Re: Case in point...
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 03:48 am (UTC)And please - I'm the one who thought of and started the team community. LOL
Was that what they said? That you suck? I didn't remember how they phrased it, not that it matters. Heh.
Re: Case in point...
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 04:09 am (UTC)Seriously ... that was one of the bits that just had me scratching my head cos it was like this concerns you how?
Of course, the proper response probably should have been 'jealous much'?
Re: Case in point...
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 09:21 am (UTC)Very true. And I like to think we're happy in our servitude. It's a good thing. Hee!
Of course, the proper response probably should have been 'jealous much'?
Sooooo right on the mark, hon.
Re: Case in point...
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 04:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 04:41 am (UTC)Very true - indeed. And people come different cultures.. so that can sometimes make things a bit tricky... and then there is a language barrier...
Elisabet
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Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 06:12 am (UTC)Tell me about it... :-)
Sometimes I just hate that I can't speak a better English...grrr
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Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 06:33 am (UTC)I know... but I think you're doing great anyway... but I know that because English is not our first language we tend to pay more attention to it... and I know it's ridiculous to get upset because I don't speak/write good English - but for me it's hard to ignore my own mistakes which I can see sometimes clearly - after I read it somewhere.. and I can't even edit that!!...but then there are mistakes which I make but I don't know how to correct them...=( but I just hope that people who come across with me could just bear with me... I'm trying my best anyway...
btw... I didn't post this one for pity purposes... =D just making my statement as a foreigner who speaks weird language... =)
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Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 06:57 am (UTC)It's exactly the same for me. :-)
btw... I didn't post this one for pity purposes... =D just making my statement as a foreigner who speaks weird language... =)
I know :-)
*Sorry for the spam Jen...*
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Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 07:53 am (UTC)Oh and Jen, sorry for the spam! btw.. I like you spinning Eeyore...we Finns call him Ihaa...=D
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Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 09:48 am (UTC)Really?
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 09:42 am (UTC)As someone who speaks Americanized English as an only language, I admire anyone who even attempts to learn it as a second language. Isn't English supposed to be one of the more difficult languages to learn? Because it's so inconsistent? Reminds me of the part in My Fair Lady...
So actually, you and Elizabet probably speak English better than us unsophisticated, uneducated Americans... LOL
Re: Really?
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 10:07 am (UTC)My English teacher says that actually people in North Scotland speak better English or shall we say more beautiful English than people who speak 'Oxford English'. But he's a Scotch after all.. so he can say whatever he wants. =D And the Irish... uh huh... I don't understand them at all... even when they are using English it sounds so weird that's it not English anymore.. =) heh.. but I love to listen them still.. =) I just wish I could understand them too.. =)
Re: Really?
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 10:11 am (UTC)You're too nice, I make mistakes all the time...
As someone who speaks Americanized English as an only language, I admire anyone who even attempts to learn it as a second language.
Actually it's my 3th language... I studied French in school, but since I love to travel around the world I had to learn English too...
I don't have a strong grammar base (the one you usually get in school), I just wanted to understand people and communicate with them, the understanding part it's pretty much covered, but I'm still working on the speaking/writing part... ;-)
Isn't English supposed to be one of the more difficult languages to learn?
Not really, French is easier to understand (from an Italian pov), but if you want to really know it it's waaaay more complicated than English...
So actually, you and Elizabet probably speak English better than us unsophisticated, uneducated Americans... LOL
I wish. :-)
Re: Really?
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 11:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 04:55 am (UTC)The thing that makes me even more sad is the back lash of it all. People are doing mass defriending and friends locking their LJ's. I understand it's everyone's right to do whatever they wish with their individual LJ, but as I read about all the people who had their feeling hurt, I can't help but be a bit saddened and disappointed in this fandom.
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Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 09:54 am (UTC)*hugs*
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 05:21 am (UTC)*hugs again* Love you, baby and I hope you're doing well. I want an off-LJ message on what's going on. I miss those narratives about you, kept me up to date. Remember, there are folks out there (me!) that respect your talent and your sweetness. Can ya mail ME some sweetness? I done ran out! :)
Re: *hugs*
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 10:13 am (UTC)And yeah! No bashing the Rat!
Love you too sweets, and will try to write as soon as I can. I'd mail you some sweetness, but mine is slightly sour at the moment. Sorry. :-(
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Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 06:07 am (UTC)Wow.
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Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 06:56 am (UTC)It shows how naive I am though. Considering I spend 99% of my time online with a certain bunch of people, I don't see or know about the hate within the fandom. In fact, up until now, I thought it was a pretty friendly fandom. Boy was I wrong :(
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Don't go thinking you were wrong about the fandom being friendly. If you've had good experiences with people in the fandom, don't let something like this tarnish that! Consider yourself lucky - and probably a good judge of character. ;-)
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Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 12:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Monday, April 5th, 2004 12:18 pm (UTC)I've thought on a lot of the comments, especially the one where the writer is so kindly *cough* defining what the QAF fandom is. While I will agree there are some questionable people (as in any fandom), the good things are far more than the negative. If it that wasn't the case, I certainly wouldn't still be around.
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Date: Tuesday, April 6th, 2004 06:06 pm (UTC)Queen